Instant success doesn’t exist: Learn to wait

life lessons with chipo mutibvu

Modern life and progress usually come with time-saving, pain- free and sweat -free solutions to everything. When I was young I had to get up about 30 minutes before bath time to put a kettle of water on the stove for my bath. While it was boiling I’d start making  porridge and put on a smaller kettle for my tea. The maize porridge I grew up eating had to be checked and stirred every few minutes and of course doing dishes afterwards meant washing pots and tea pots. Now I have a geyser, I just get up at bath time (not before) and hop into the shower. After that I can make instant porridge. If I want tea I just switch on the electric kettle and in under  5 minutes I have my tea or instant coffee. Dirty dishes are just my bowl, spoon and mug . I work less and I get ready faster. No fuss, no mess!

BUT

The joys of modern life have come at a price, I have lost my ability to wait for long and work a little harder for a lot of things. I used to be able to wait for a huge pot of water to boil but now even that 3 minutes I wait for the electric kettle can seem like a lifetime. We are now a generation that knows nothing about working and waiting for the natural process of success to take place. We eat 2 minute noodles, drink instant coffee, write electronic letters that are delivered in less than a minute to each other. The result? we want instant success, instant solution and instant answers to all our prayers…

  • You hit your late twenties and beyond without a ring on your finger what do you do? Become a side dish to a married person because waiting is just taking too long? Get married to or have children with someone you know is wrong for you because the clock is ticking?
  • You get rejected after applying for a job, university admission, a visa, a driver’s license, etc and what do you? Start looking for someone who has connections on the inside to grease a few hands to turn your no into a yes? Get desperate and start doing drugs or selling yourself because the right way didn’t work?
  • You start what you thought was going to be a brilliant business plan but 6 months down the line no one has shown any interest in it and what do you do? Call it quits and wonder the hell you were thinking in the first place? Go back to working jobs that you know insult your intelligence, cause you stress and pay you less than what any self-respecting person deserves?
  • You pray the same prayer for years and other people’s prayers seem to get answered but never yours and what do you do? Stop praying, stop hoping, stop being positive and just tell yourself that not everyone is meant to be happy?

The point is YOUR TIME WILL COME. Just be patient, be persistent, be stubborn about your goals and everything will fall into place. You are going to watch a lot of your friends and enemies do amazing things that you only dream of. You are going to see people with less qualifications and who are work less than you afford the most expensive things on the planet and it’s going to hurt. Alternative solutions are going to pop up and you will be tempted to take them even though they are not 100% what you want. You can either take a quick fix solution now that will leave you wanting for the rest of your life or you can endure a couple of months or years of looking and feeling like a failure but finally getting that one thing that will fulfill you completely. Personally I find that things that are too quick and easy to accomplish often don’t last long, easy come easy go they say. So learn to wait and learn to keep a good attitude while you wait. If you sulk while you wait for your dreams to come true you are throwing away time that you will never get back that you could have been focusing on other things that are going well in your life.

Don’t worry, be happy, be patient and when the time comes, the reward will be worth the wait!

life lessons with chipo mutibvu

If you are a gay man and you know it don’t marry a woman

gay men, bruce jenner, ireland, gay rights, gay, homosexual

The same goes for women too. Do not deceive someone of the opposite sex into a false notion that you will ride off into the sunset and live together happily ever after if you know that you will not be able to deliver. There have been a lot of reports recently about gay rights being recognized in many countries including Ireland and Mozambique. I have also been following news on Bruce Jenner’s transition. I am so happy that the world is slowly becoming open minded, one country at a time. BUT All of it has got me thinking about things that do not usually get addressed when sexuality issues are discussed.

From talking to friends and observing what happens around me I have come to understand that for many gay people coming out is very difficult. Some societies are “conservative” or intolerant of same sex relationships therefore many stay closeted for a long time. These people are victims of circumstances and I sympathise. What I do not support though is how some gay people marry someone of the opposite sex under the pretext of being straight because they want to do what their families or what societies expect from them. I think of the poor spouses who thought they were getting their forever after only to be told after a decade or so that their spouse is actually gay. Do not victimize somebody else just because you have been a victim yourself. It’s just not right. Most gay people say that they knew since they were very young that were attracted to people of the same sex. So if you have no confusion about who you are attracted to why deceive someone else into something that they did not sign up for?

If you are gay and you know it then be honest with yourself and just date people of the same sex. Don’t drag innocent people into the closet with you. Stay closeted or come out, whatever suits you but do not misrepresent yourself to someone who might be looking for a stable relationship and even bring children into the mix only to later say that you are switching teams. Stick with your team and don’t mislead anybody.