Mom’s story of stroke and dementia

mom for generousity

The most difficult question I’ve ever asked anyone was what I have to ask my mom from time to time, “Do you know who I am?” This is the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who, until now, knew me better than I knew myself. Now she asks who “that woman” is when she sees a picture of herself. Then she wants to shake my hand but she keeps forgetting that she can’t raise her right arm anymore because of the stroke she had 2 months ago. She can’t get up on her own, go to the toilet, dress herself, feed herself and so forth. This is a woman who raised 4 children on her own but who can barely swallow a sip of water without difficulty.

I am appealing to well wishers to help us with funds to help take care of my mom, Esnath Mutibvu. She has vascular dementia, a stroke on her right side and has a mass on her brain that doctors (GPs)say they can’t do much about. They say she is at risk of getting more strokes and is also at risk of different kinds of infections because of immobility. Medically, it would be best for us to find a good neurologist who can give us specialised care  and eliminate some problems that are treatable in order to avoid unnecessary suffering. In the meantime we are relying on public facilities that are scarce and short of medical staff. Her mind is not completely gone and if there is  way to help her walk again and regain some of the physical functions she has lost it would be great.

She cannot be alone. She needs 24/7 nursing care and I, being the only child that lives with her, cannot work and support us if I have to be at home to take care of her. I have one brother who is trying his best but cannot afford it all. We lost 2 brothers already so our family is now just the 3 of us. Our family has been plagued by so much disease and death that I am fighting back the only way I know how. Being a chronic pain sufferer as a result of a condition called Anorld Chiari Malformation myself doing everything on m own is difficult. Unfortunately she will need care for the rest of her life and there is no telling how long that will be. Good care facilities go for approximately R11 000 per month. This will include daily physio, meals, a double room and nursing care, As she is in a delicate state of health, money will always be needed to make sure that if anything comes up she gets the best care.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes, waking up sometimes and not recognising her surroundings and not understanding why she can’t turn herself or even sit up as she used to do. It must be scary as hell. Then she sometimes becomes lucid and remembers that her mind is playing tricks on her and her body is failing. The heartbreak she goes through each time is shuttering. At 73, it’s amazing how much she still wants to achieve many  more things in life. Her prayers to get better have motivated me to start this campaign so that she gets the most that’s attainable to make her life better and comfortable.

Growing up, I never imagined that one day like would throw a situation my way that would make me hope complete strangers would help me, yet here I am. It’s painful and very humbling but I can’t stand by and watch the love of my life suffer more than can be avoided.

It’s difficult to set an amount of ongoing support. For now I will set a target of $50,000 for a good care facility and neurological fees and treatments. I would like to try everything humanly possible to save her life because she has jumped through hoops to make me who I am. She has also helped many people over the years although she didn’t have plenty herself. She deserves every fight in me.

If there is anyone who wants to get in touch with me, please contact me via email: or if you prefer via phone it’s +27835609299. The best way to donate is via this site but Moneygram and Western Union are also options. Well wishers in Zimbabwe can transfer funds to ecocash number  0776965918. Do send me  a message if you donate so I can thank you personally and give you updates about her progress. Thank you. Follow the link below to donate.